By Zena Tuitt
Lying in bed listening to the silence broken by the street cockerels letting me know that the sky will soon transition from darkness to light.
I’m distracted by the ping on my iPhone notifying me of a WhatsApp message, which turns into a WhatsApp conversation; which is intermittently interrupted by my wondering mind, enticed by the glitter of ‘Digital Narnia’ – the apps on my phone – Gmail, Instagram, Linkedin and my work inbox. It’s 5.30am.
I have a deadline. I need inspiration. I read something on Instagram that inspires me to listen to Butterflies by Michael Jackson. I decide to write, my flow is interrupted by Skype ringing on my iPad. It’s a call I choose not to ignore.
Back to writing. Distracted. Flashback to a recent laugh – not true – I just forced that as I wanted to tell you a story. A story that made me chuckle and I wanted to share. Not sure if you’ll find it funny, what if you don’t get it? Maybe I should share…hmmm…the story doesn’t seem that funny any more. I’m hungry. What day is it? Am I running today? What am I going to eat?
In these moments I am the noise in my head and the rhythm in the breath I breathe. I am me – authentically. No feedback, no interruptions, no labels, no given history or context – just me. Or am I?
It’s in the cracks, the moments of silence, that I often hear the whisper…begging me to be brave and find a way. My way in that day, in that moment, in that second, for me to be who I really am, before the maddening noise starts again, distracting me from that whisper.
I remember why I love meditation and prayer so much – it is in those moments that I can hear the only noise that is important – my heartbeat. I hear the rhythm, embrace it, the purity, the authenticity. The sound is so sweet, so simple – a heartbeat.
You don’t have to remember what the last beat sounded like, you don’t have to find a label for it, you just know that there will be another beat and when you let it flow, things and life feels different. Like its suppose to be…for you.
Stay in your lane. Be inspired but be brave enough to take time to enjoy your own heartbeat, it’s the only way you’ll find your unique rhythm.
This post was inspired by:
The Congregation of Emanuel A.M.E. Church, Charleston, USA